oh_yoko

onochrd @ 2008-04-16T22:10:00

2008-04-17T02:15:42Z

I want everyone I love to live in Pittsburgh.

onochrd @ 2008-04-07T20:05:00

2008-04-08T00:15:18Z

I hate having to do college classes... I guess it's not that bad, really it doesn't take too long but it is hard to keep track of everything I have to do.
Huge text message fight with mcd.
constant barrage of texts from evan for the past few days and I think he is going to send me flowers in the mail and a polaroid of himself.
I guess I should have known months ago it was over with mcd, he said it didn't have to be until I slept with bj, but I am human and a young girl and I am not the kind of girl who is fine with being celibate for a year, sitting around waiting for something that might not happen.
It's the saddest fucking thing in the world, but it's true. It fucking sucks so bad and I have been trying and hoping that it would change, but I guess that there are some things you can't change no matter how bad they are. You just have to accept it and deal with it no matter how badly you don't want it to be the truth.
wish I didn't have so many responsibilities, wish I could just work and chill and work on my book. but instead I also have to worry about tons of money, school, getting into the art institute and somehow funding that. but if I do get in it will be a nice structure, I think, despite the fact that I'm always worried about money. hope I get a job soon.

i am good at cutting people out of my life and never thinking about them again. it is sad sometimes, to lose someone, but sometimes I have messed things up so badly that I can't really keep up a cordial relationship. So I just cut them out and try to forget anything ever happened. It sucks a lot sometimes but I fuck up far too often to have any choice.

onochrd @ 2008-04-02T22:12:00

2008-04-03T05:24:50Z

and something like three months into our freshman year, my friends and i had the oakland party scene down. we had seen it all. some of the boys friends from highschool who had stayed hometown came to spend the weekend with us. we didn't particularly like them but they wanted a tour of the big city. a three day sample of how we spent our everyday. we took them to a party held in someone's basement in south oakland and they got spooked when they walked in on a naked couple snorting lines in the bathroom. a little later on, a gun was fired into the side of a police car. they were scandalized; we laughed it off. nothing shocking. Later though, I overheard one of the boys (so unremarkable that I can't remember his name now, and I went to school with him and others like him for six years. I think everyone called him some ethnic slur. Wop? Gook? No, those were two different boys...) Any way, I overheard him say to another boy, "Never again, man. Did you see that hookie thing? I've never even heard of that! Next thing you know they'll be doing crystal meth. They're crazy!" holding hookah hoses in the next room, we stifled raucous laughter and knew that we had won. We had fought our way out of fucking flood city and emerged victorious, dripping with joie de vivre and a higher understanding of what it means to be truly alive.

onochrd @ 2008-03-31T22:34:00

2008-04-01T02:42:59Z

would be investing in something that's going to give back to the community immeasurably. in more ways than just cashflow... will give pittsburgh a better, truer image the world over. support the soup kitchen, homeless shelter. we will donate -- but more than just donate, we will encourage others to get involved and help out, too. not just giving money we'll raise, bring attention to causes.

in the age of youtube, we'll post daily blogs letting people know whats going on at the rabbit hole and all over the city. we'll raise awareness about worthy causes and spread a positive message

the organization everything moves puts out books and cds. this is what we want to do for pittsburgh.
were models in daughters and sons by olivia locher

when's the last time you saw a lemonade stand on fifth avenue? we would have one. and the sign would say, lemonade $1 donation to the women's help center.

onochrd @ 2008-03-31T00:39:00

2008-03-31T04:42:02Z

an important point is that we will always be interacting with the community -- encouraging kids to create, to be involved, and make a positive change in pittsburgh and the world

is it an odd hour? ring the bell. we're never closed.
if our friends need a place to stay they can stay at the rabbit hole

also a crowd of kids in phoenix heard a song about me.

IT'S LIKE ONE CRAZY LONE RANGER

2008-03-30T00:26:55Z

"I HAVE A CAT!? ...What the fuck are you doing here?... you asshole. That cat makes me wanna die!"

Life as modern art: living in a storefront.
get coroporate sponsors and put up crazy ads for them
set easels up once a week and paint watercolors
hang shoes from the ceiling.

"most underrated city" - ellen paige
"most livable city" - gallup polls
so why do people still think of pittsburgh as a smoky, dirty industrial town with nothing to offer to anyone but steelworkers? why don't people see it as the thriving community of artists and musicians that it is? This project will draw tons of press to Pittsburgh & show everyone in the world that there is art here, and life, and ideas. Help us make this fantastic dream a reality and put Pittsburgh on the map as what it really is once and for all.

once a week, set up tables and have like three pots of coffee brewing, and a big jug of milk and a bag of sugar and put up a sign that says FREE COFFEE. On another day of the week, make a ton of cookies and hand them out. On both of these days, we'll have a box for donations that people can fill if they want to. maybe have that money go to aid in darfur, or the homeless shelter in pittsburgh.

talk shows, perez, the news

my book in the window and hella, and maybe jacob and olivia's books.

on free coffee day, have my guitar and lele's ukelele out, and put up a big song that says "Play us a song!"
sell paintings, art, clothes.
have special guests, like a caricaturist who will draw for donations

"we're way cooler than that Chocolate rain video."
"lele is almost perfect."
"belle is almost perfect."

daily quotes in the window: haikus! silly fortune cookies, the quote about an endless summer. excerpts from books.

when we make up the proposal, scout out locations and make a chart of locations, rent, square footage, average utilities.

but we won't only be bringing positive attention to pittsburgh from people on the outside; we'll also benefit the city directly in a number of ways. we would raise money for pittsburgh soup kitchens, battered women's shelter. and raise awareness of these causes and encourage kids to volunteer and make a positive difference in their city. on some days when lele and are volunteering, we'll put a sign up in the window that says, "Out volunteering! You can make a positive difference too! Here's how..."

we have SO MUCH PASSION FOR THIS PROJECT.

we'll also give the city life a kick by putting up flyers for local shows and exhibits at smaller art museums, like Future Tenant. and get the message out about other cultural events. get kids excited about accomplishing things in their lives.

some days just wear a bathing suit and tights to read or watch a movie.
"Hey, you guys wanna come watch a movie?" to people watching.
sound classy in the proposal.
would potentially be the most productive and stimulating storefront in oakland.
have a bug chalkboard and sidewalk chalk

one time lele spent 45 minutes opening a pickle jar because she wanted to prove that she was independent
we can "live" and keep bedrooms upstairs for technical/legal reasons
we will meet so many people, so many people will know who we are. always have friends over.
call it an "art museum" not a residence
coming into our home is like plunging headlong down the rabbit hole
we don't go to parties -- the parties come to us.
lele and belle: creating something out of almost nothing
occaisionally put signs that say, "hey mary-kate!" "hey paris, call us! let's hang out." or, "lindsay, we love you!"
send perez a bunch of tips on the days that we have the "Hey perez!" sign up. he'll love to support pittsburgh. tell him why he should.

get help and advice on writing a proposal and all the legal aspects

do a photoshoot with people on the street, have a good camera and 4x6 printer
run a webpage and put the photos up
we'll put local artists work on the walls
put our videos on the website, we'll be a sensation
sell mine and lele's books on the website

this is how to give fate a nudge

do it in spring so there are a lot of college kids there.
when we send in the proposal, there will be a polaroid of lele and a polaroid of me, and the captions will say, "I'm Lele." "and I'm Belle."
and on the page underneath it will say, something like "and we have a plan to put pittsburgh on the map."
with the proposal send in our artist portfolios, including lele's photos!
say how many kids have my book
sell ourselves!

maybe I will have my installation in Future Tenant by then
metion how wildy popular the Tom Museum was and the 5 cent coffee shop
in an era where everyone's guilty pleasure is reality tv, what could be more compelling than watching the young lives of two city girls unfold right before your eyes? In real time, in real life?

onochrd @ 2008-03-27T18:59:00

2008-03-27T22:58:16Z

I know you'll see
Somehow the world will change for me
And be so wonderful
Live life, breathe air
I know somehow we're gonna get there
and feel so wonderful

onochrd @ 2008-03-26T00:24:00

2008-03-26T04:23:30Z

"Dude, I don't know... I don't fuckin' know, what I am trying to say to you right now, but what I am trying to express is that... I am always in party mode."
-- leslie

onochrd @ 2008-03-23T16:03:00

2008-03-23T20:13:08Z

I made two really good decisions -- subscribing to netflix, and teaching myself how to burn DVDs.
since I subscribed to netflix, I've seen
Alice, Shortbus, Paprika, the first season of Arrested Development, 24 hour party people, in the realms of the unreal, paris je t'aime, and a clockwork orange.
and right now I have more than 100 films in my queue waiting to be sent to me one by one.
And I burn every one I get! It's not as simple as burning a cd, so I guess that's why more people don't do it. You have to use two different programs (and decode and compress and encode the movie...) but I'll confess I still don't fully understand it. There are so many options and steps that I don't know what the hell they are. For the most part I just figured it out as I went along and used whichever buttons seemed to make sense. anyway I have it down to an art now.
by the time the summer is up in Pittsburgh Maria and I will have a huge binder full of movies sitting next to our tv to choose from!
It will be such a good collection!
COLLECTION! holy shit! there I go again, collecting beautiful things! books, songs, clothes, and now movies!

onochrd @ 2008-03-19T21:26:00

2008-03-20T01:37:30Z

for months leslie and i talked about living together. she would always say, "You're living with me, right? I mean, you don't have a choice. You are whether you want to or not." But then suddenly she stopped saying it and I found out later it was because she found out rent would go up a considerable amount if a third person lived in their house. So I thought living with her wasn't an option anymore.
I thought about living with Roxanne and Michael until today when Rox told me in an email that she and michael decided to live just the two of them. I panicked. Now what was I going to do? I thought leslie and her mom were worried about getting in trouble if their landlord found out a third person was living there, so I didn't think i could stay there longer than the summer.
Then it occured to me to ask how much leslie's rent would go up if I were on the lease. and she said $350. Well, that would still be cheaper than living on my own. So I talked to Leslie and I think what we'll do is I'll live there incognito for the summer, and if it looks like it's going to be a problem we'll just put me on the lease and I'll pay how much the rent goes up.
crisis averted
life stabilized
I hope maria still wants me to live with her as much as she did before. I would be such a good roommate to her. It would be fuckin' wonderful. Goddamn, pretty soon my life should be back on track and I will feel like I am living the life I am supposed to be living again.

onochrd @ 2008-03-19T18:07:00

2008-03-19T22:07:54Z

just got an email from roxanne saying that she and mike have decided to live just the two of them together, after all. fucking shitty.

onochrd @ 2008-03-16T14:30:00

2008-03-16T18:34:46Z

I was just looking through photos of Britney Spears getting mauled by the paps, and I was thinking of what would be the best way to deal with them later.
Decidedly, not try to get away from them.
Like I wrote before, no one will know your face if they never see it. So for as long as possible I think Leslie and I should not try to shove past them, covering our faces. We should do things for the camera that will get us noticed. Say crazy shit. Don't be a condescending asshole. Do crazy shit. (i.e. be ourselves)
it will be awesome.

onochrd @ 2008-03-16T00:26:00

2008-03-16T04:54:38Z

I just dug through my bookshelves and boxes from Pittsburgh, unearthing all the notebooks I've been building up over the last two years or so.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

Leslie I hope you understand what I just realized because it is a crazy fucking realization...
This whole time that I've been keeping notebooks -- constantly writing -- I have been building up material to compile into a book. I just took a picture of all the material I have built up and it's 12 notebooks. 12 notebooks of experiences and thoughts and crazy shit to pull from for my book.

people spend years writing books and I have done most of the work for mine without even noticing. This whole time I was collecting. Collect an experience, a scene, a quote, put it in the notebook for use later.
Sowing seeds every day it's like I was doing the equivalent of working so hard for so long, but I was smart enough to keep it all until now when I'm ready to put it to use and have the harvest.

quotes I overheard in class and then scribbled in my notebook:
"Yeah, I went. And there were like -- five kegs. And I was like, 'Are you kidding!? It's Monday!'"

"Yeah, man, that was the best week of my life. I couldn't tell you what happened, but it was the best week of my life."
^hedonism. postmodernism.

"Oh my god, what day is today!? I think it's my birthday!"

"I mean, I smoke YOUR pot."

Other findings:
-Those are just the things I do, not who I am, right? No one habit defines a person. Bu still that doesn't shake the feeling that my mother will never know who I really am.
- Laughing at the death scene in Zemlia while I have tears running down my face because the film was showing me something poignant and painful and so full of fucking meaning. A man is dying and the director splices shots of this man's death bed with shots of wide open fucking beautiful fields with the sky so big and the sun so bright... and the director is saying, "look. this is the earth this man will never experience again. here is the air that will never again fill his lungs. he will never walk these fields again." and no in my class got it. No one. When the dying man was asked if he wanted anything, he said he wanted a pear. he was given an apple. there were no pears. and when he died and the two men standing by comment, "He liked pears..." the class burst into uproarious laughter. I have never been so outraged in my life. The most beautiful heartbreaking poignant thing. That man would NEVER EVER eat a pear again. His mouth could no longer taste. it was over. He says, "It's my earth! I won't give it up!" but none of us have any choice so we better make the most of what we have.

to mention in the book:
JAN SVANKMAJER
zemlia
709
the feel of everyone settling into their newfound freedom in the first few months of school by drinking and smoking themselves retarded

onochrd @ 2008-03-16T00:26:00

2008-03-16T04:26:46Z

for weeks I have been struggling to find the words to describe the feel of all of the parties I went to in Pittsburgh -- and I think I finally had a breakthrough. It felt like everyone had come to an unspoken accord. No one said it out loud but we had all individually come to the conclusion that there was of course no god and no purpose for us, divine or otherwise. So why not enjoy ourselves? We all found ourselves in the same city and of like minds so why not get together and dance? There was always an undercurrent of despondency. No one acknowledged it, and maybe no one even noticed it, but I could tell that we all knew we had no fate to meet and there was no reason above and beyond our own enjoyment for us to even exist. so i'd watch matt hoff tip back a bottle of beer as marlee and a girl who looked like marlee stumbled drunkenly through the kitchen of who-knows-whose house to the porch. and smile because we all only exist for a split second but we accept it and move past it and live our lives anyway.

Hey, let's cross the sea
And get some culture
Red wine with every meal
And absinthe after dinner

We've got to get something
To eat and to drink, yeah
And find a place to stay
That's not far off the main way
We've got to plan our day
Rodin and the Orsay
And find a way to cram it all in
Before drink hard again

Let's get a bottle and drink alone tonight
Let's get a bottle and drink alone tonight

This light looks good on you
Morning came early
Sitting on a park bench
That's older than my country

Two star hotel, hotel
Two star hotel, hotel

Two star hotel
Near St. Germaine
Two star hotel
Where the stars don't mean
Stars don't mean anything

I think I miss hedonism. I mean, I was in my fucking element when I went to party after party, night after night. My first year and a half in Pittsburgh, I wish Maria could have seen it because it was fucking crazy. I went to three parties three nights in a row once wearing the same green dress because I hadn't been home to change.

I went to one party in a fur vest and a fur hat, and wondered why I was stopped three times (front porch, hallway, steps up to the party) and questioned as to whether I was dressed as a polar bear. Three times. Are you a polar bear? What the fuck, no, these are my normal clothes. And then I enter the packed living room to find everyone dancing crazy dressed as fucking animals. It was an animal party.

And there I would be with Adrienne, standing on the back of a couch in a packed South Oakland living room. Punching our fists in the air and dancing so hard to the DJ. Bottle of mad dog that a random boy had given me in one hand. I don't know who he was or why he had given it to me, but he had been drinking out of it so I knew it was kosher (on second thought, maybe that wasn't the smartest line of thinking). I knew maybe half of the people in the party I'm talking about, but almost all of them were dressed as animals. Sabrina had a tail pinned to her jeans and construction paper cat ears in her hair. Matt had a dog nose painted on.

Parties with Jamie, parties with Adrienne, parties with Roxanne. Where I was fucking thrilled to the teeth to just have people around me. People I knew, people I had no idea who they were but I knew they were living a life parallel to mine. It made me feel so alive to have so many kids around me just fucking drinking and dancing and sharing a night of hedonism with eachother. Nobody questioned what they were all doing there, if they were all wasting their time; it felt like everyone had come to an unspoken agreement that they all felt the exact same about life. That they all understood each other. Kids I knew from other parties milling around the kitchen and out to the porch, girls blackout drunk wandering into the living room we all had a similar life philosophy that there was no God, that there was no divine purpose for us so we had the freedom to enjoy ourselves. So tip the bottle of mad dog back and punch your fist in the air and wander home when you feel like it.

onochrd @ 2008-03-15T20:22:00

2008-03-16T00:38:37Z

I have such high hopes for the future. Such comforting fantastic visions of my future that I can't help but love it.
In, say, as little as three years, where will I be? Maybe California, maybe still in Pittsburgh. Let's say I'm in Pittsburgh. Sitting on a fucking porch in Lawrenceville with Roxanne and Maria and Alex and some boys, drinking cheap wine from a box and laughing at how strange it is to be 23 years old. By then we will have graduated, will be working in our fields and will have seen Europe.
(What will my hair look like then?) We will have achieved the goal we have been working towards since we were six years old. You see what I mean? You enter school at about 6 to be run through a system to turn you into an adult. A functioning member of society. Through grade school, middle school, high school, college, always working towards a certain status. For so many years! Won't it be freeing once we've graduated the system? Made it to that plateau, where we can do whatever the hell we want because we're finally finished individuals? (as far as the system is concerned, at least). It will all be behind us! No more school! Just working doing something we love to earn money so we won't have a problem paying rent and traveling.
So we'll be adults, right? But not like our parents. We'll be fuckin' kick-ass hedonistic adults. I doubt we'll "settle down" any time soon. We're probably not going to get married and have kids for a long time, so what're we going to do in the meantime? Drink coffee and make art and live.
It'll be rad.

onochrd @ 2008-03-14T22:49:00

2008-03-15T03:16:34Z

feeling disconnected, but typing it out dispelled it a little bit.
haven't sent out my art institute application yet because I still have to pick up some photos I'm sending along with it. fuck not having my own darkroom.
katie coia told me evan's got it bad for me, which Iguess I knew a few months ago. but I didn't act on it because he's a womanizer and sometimes seems a little bit too much like a commercial for himself. and hell, i think that just bothers me because that's how I've been comporting myself for a year and a half now. i had it down like a fuckin' art. everyone loved me because I was so witty and hilarious and clever and fun-loving and cute. I feel like I've gotten rusty about it, but I think I'll be able to take it back up with some practice.
step one, lose some weight. I will feel so much better when I'm back to a better weight and I have been feeling like a cow for about a month now. (I want to be a willow branch when I go to France, we will see.)
Also Evan is flying me out to Phoenix for about four days and I'd like to look pretty for that. It would be pretty uncomfortable to not look charming when meeting new people. I am used to looking charming.
So I think tomorrow (because it is the 15th and halfway through the month) I will start back on the fruit, vegetable and rice diet I did last january. It was SO HARD but after about two weeks of it my entire attitude towards food had changed. I no longer craved it. I thought it was weird when people talked about wanting pizza or a brownie. (One time Matt was dying waiting for a pizza delivery and I thought it was SO FUCKING STRANGE) All I wanted to eat was buttered peas, carrots with brown sugar, and blueberries. And I got used to eating less, too. I only ate when I was hungry. I didn't need a bag of chips or a chocolate bar to pass the time... food was nourishment.
And I lost about 20 pounds in like three weeks. I felt so healthy.
but like I said, it was the hardest thing ever. but I did it before so I guess I can do it again. I have alright willpower sometimes, so we'll see.

from the miof blog/wish I wrote this:
"Conversations rooted in deep thoughts. That's what we all talk about when we're really talking. You know, really talking? Not about the weather or about wanting to fuck one of your DJs or kitty cat stories. Really talking about the kind of stuff you have to tug and uproot from the depths of your heart. Stuff you wouldn't just say to anyone but only to those who you think share those thoughts -- or at least only to those who you think will actually understand.

Are we the only ones who talk about that shit? Are we really on another level? Do the Steves and Stephanies talk about them, too? Are we ever having the same conversation as someone else in North Dakota? Are we really that full of ourselves or are we just really delusional to anyone else but us?"

Something I think about all the time, and I always knew I wasn't the only one who wondered those things. What about girls in china or boys in Montana? Who gets this other level and why do most people miss it entirely? Like the thousands of people singing hillbilly anthems with all their heart at the country singer concert, about how proud they are to be hicks? So strange. such a strange cultural phenomena, think of it as peasants in russia always talking about how proud they are to be peasants and how glad they are to always be milking cows... then see a song like Country Boy Will Survive. eugh. america is so weird.

onochrd @ 2008-03-10T21:52:00

2008-03-11T02:14:07Z

I have so many mood swings.

Just today I was sitting on a sidewalk whimpering over how much I missed sleeping wrapped up in mcd's arms
and now it's six hours later and I've managed to distance myself from it a little bit.

No matter how my mood fluctuates though I still know the facts.
maybe some day I will forget them and that will be the saddest thing of all.

God I fucking love him and he loved me like I was his own heart beating outside his body. we had an epic and transcendent love like tristan and isolde, the kind of love you think only exists in books. when your brains synchronize and you communicate without opening your mouths, a simple glance told me he loved with a deeper joy than he'd ever felt in his lifetime and never expected it to end,

we're talking in text messages this very minute and I drink it up like a woman dying of thirst for love.

I love him so much. and don't know how to stop.

...an hour and a half later and i'm crying harder than I have in a long, long time.

onochrd @ 2008-03-04T00:42:00

2008-03-04T06:02:04Z

It was during my hibernation that I made a list of things to stop worrying about to the point of panic attacks. It's my style to win the battle of who could care less, so I don't know why my uncanny ability to stop giving a shit about whatever's bothering me didn't kick in sooner. It's probably a defense mechanism, but, see, I can distance myself from a problem or a situation until whatever it is just doesn't phase me anymore. It helped when Elizabeth and I stopped being friends (Eliz who?) and it helped after a one-night stand, and even after I had to move out of one of my apartments because I couldn't afford the rent. Who gives a shit, right? But this was the first time I had to make a list. Maybe not the first time I made escapism a conscious effort, but it was the first time I made a list about it.
1. McD. tell yourself you don't give a shit. It's been a year since you started dating. he's obviously no good for you or where you're going, no matter how much you want him to be.
2. old roommates
3. withdrawing from Pitt. it's fine. what were you going to do with a degree in English Literature anyway? that's right, nothing. Go to school for photojournalism in the fall and maybe you'll find a job you really love.
4. your weight. just control what you eat and you'll be slim in no time.
5. your fried hair. get extensions
6. money
7. work
8. your personality

How do regular people get over what's ailing them? Watch tv I guess, and eat junk food. But I refuse to watch tv because I refuse to subject myself to empty brainless programming. and I hate potato chips. I guess I took a step towards having what other people call a "pastime" when I subscribed to Netflix. Within the first hour of my membership I had over 75 films on my queue. Hunger, thirst for learning and culture. Kudos, Miyazaki. You're the man.

onochrd @ 2008-03-02T23:08:00

2008-03-03T04:26:55Z

made a joke account on sugardaddy.com yeasterday. it's where men find girls to give money to for companionship and sex on a regular basis. funny, right? I had like five hits within an hour, a "kiss" (like a poke on facebook), and a message from someone who "likes how I describe myself."

It makes me feel kind of funny that I could make money off of the reproductive equipment I was born with. Lucky, right? I mean, are men really that desperate for sex? They like it so much that they would pay a girl they met online large sums of money for it? So funny. Anyway I canceled my account like four hours later because once the trial period's up it costs like 39 dollars a month. Maybe once I'm back in Pittsburgh and have a little extra money I'll treat myself to a month on it. I'll meet a dashing businessman who'll take me to expensive, exclusive restaurants downtown and give me $200 for a blow job. Haha. Yeah, right.
I am money-hungry, but we'll see if I hit that low any time soon.

At work today I tried to write down the story about the time I met Ron Jeremy and went to his hotel room, but couldn't do it justice. One time while tipsy at a party, I told the story to like 15 kids in a room and most of them had tears running down their faces by the end. It was the best story of all time, they told me. I was hilarious, they told me. The best story they had ever heard in their lives, they told me. Well for the life of me I can't conjure up the witty comments and perceptive observations I told that night. I guess it was a one-time thing. Maybe I'll have to get a little high and tell the story to Maria and Joe and Taylor with a tape recorder on, see if that does the trick.

I am trying to decide whether or not I will be able to handle going to the art institute in the fall. My mom has her doubts because I really am an extremely poor student, but I think I know that I don't have a choice. It's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go to the art institute for photojournalism and finish this book, and then next summer take it around the northeast with Maria and Hella. Then fame.

onochrd @ 2008-03-01T21:24:00

2008-03-02T02:52:28Z

onochrd @ 2008-02-25T20:14:00

2008-02-26T01:17:44Z

PARIS HILTON HAS A NEW TV SHOW LOOKING FOR A BEST FRIEND WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS
It is exactly what Maria and I need!

this is obviously why I need to move to Cali!

maybe I will make it in time for the second season? I mean if Tila Tequila can have two seasons of Flavor of Love...

onochrd @ 2008-02-24T03:28:00

2008-02-24T08:30:42Z

i know why women love shoes... because feet don't gain weight. you follow? a good shoe looks fantastic no matter how the rest of your body looks. tops, dresses, even jeans all depend on your body looking good to look good. not a shoe, though. they always look the same.

written January 12

2008-02-23T04:28:24Z

it's time to start a new chapter in my life. I finally remember what it feels like to ... live. To breathe in the hot summer air in squirrel hill pounding the streets on you way to visit adrienne or to scoop ice cream. So new journal. I have several journals from different periods in my life and in every one i am a different unrecognizable unfamiliar person. So i am constantly growing and shedding all of my friends like exoskeletons because they helped me grow for a little while and then I learned from their experience and moved on but they keep staying in their story. I have never felt the beginning of a new year so keenly. This is the first new year that I have ever felt like there were things I needed to decide to leave behind. To almost clean all of the horrible experiences from last years skin to start over, newly distanced. Thank goodness.

onochrd @ 2008-02-13T22:06:00

2008-02-14T03:07:27Z

shoulder pads, the bane of my existence.

onochrd @ 2008-02-09T23:58:00

2008-02-10T04:58:55Z

have a monkey